The external environments has been challenging in recent years between COVID, supply chain issues, inflation, changing consumer trends, ever tight labour markets and the list goes on. Add to that the fact that many family business owners and leaders are still stuck too an operational way of doing things whereby they would want to be the ones calling the shots on everything in the family business. Sometimes they say that do not want to be involved in everything, but then they shoot down everything done by others, meaning that they re-enforce the culture where everyone knocks on the leaders door to get his or her go ahead on everything. Once such a culture is set it will take a lot of effort to change it. The end result? Many family business owners and leaders are utterly burnt out. What is worse is that they often find themselves unable to open up about feeling overwhelmed to those closest to them, simply because these family members may also have an ownership stake in the business they are leading or they don’t want to be the cause of family instability.

Burnout has been shown to lead to a prolonged physical and mental response, which primarily manifests as energy depletion, physical and emotional exhaustion, reduced efficacy, and increasingly negative feelings towards the role. Other symptoms associated with burnout are cynicism, negativity, and irritability; mood swings; low internal enthusiasm and motivation, sleep disturbance, and loss of perspective (Maslach & Leiter, 2006).

Below are some of the characteristics of a family business owners or leader burnout:- 

1. Deviation from the “individual norm”: Are they feeling different than usual? This first and most important indicator can be seen in a variety of ways, such as lower-than-usual energy level, a defensive or combative attitude, a lack of interest, or being overly emotional. Pay attention to any persistent (think a few weeks) changes in attitude or behaviour that is outside of “normal” for this particular person.
2. Withdrawal: Lack of sharing and communication as to what is going on in the family business, and the challenges they deal with as the leader, which further exacerbates the feeling of isolation and may stoke concern and mistrust in the family shareholder group (vicious cycle). This may also present as withdrawal from family activities such as family gatherings to avoid conversation about the business.
3. Negative communication: Pejorative comments about and to others inside (e.g., “do I have to do everything alone?,”or “they are just incapable”) and outside of the family business (e.g., “You have no idea what it’s like working here”), and expressing feelings of hopelessness, ineffectiveness, and inadequacy (e.g., “I’ve tried everything, nothing works,”or “This is getting worse and worse”).
4. Difficulty self-regulating: Difficulty controlling emotions and keeping them from “leaking” into the workplace; disproportionate negative (or a lack of) reactions to situations (i.e., “freaking out” about minor things indicates a state of heightened anxiety). 
5. Checking out: Increased mental distance and lack of passion, difficulty thinking about and committing to the long-term (e.g. “Who knows what’s going to happen next year,” “There’s nothing I can do about this”).
6. Physical exhaustion and feeling low: Feeling lethargic and heavy, which may coincide with tiredness, lack of enthusiasm and satisfaction, low spirit, also changes in the sleep pattern. 

As stated above, there must be a deviation from the “individual norm,” or what the person feels and acts like under normal circumstances. For someone who has always been cynical and is now – still – cynical, this symptom has less prognostic value for leadership burnout than for someone who has always been very positive. Secondly, these symptoms may occur occasionally, and it is the magnitude and the accumulation of the symptoms over a prolonged duration that may indicate the presence of leadership-role burnout. 

Below are some recommendations for family business owners and leaders to recognise, mitigate, and hopefully prevent this destructive development.

Hope is not only a bad advisor, but also a bad strategy. Thinking and hoping that things will get better delays doing something about it, which may lead to chronic burnout. “If you see something, say something” applies with leadership-role burnout as well. So, what can be done to prevent or deal with family business owner or leader burnout? 

Destigmatize imperfection: Families struggle with being vulnerable; weaknesses are condemned and exploited, making for a toxic and destructive family culture. When failure is unacceptable, it is very difficult to admit personal struggles. A “zero-mistake” family culture can be neutralized by identifying the root causes of the fear of failure and engaging in relational work which will lead to deeper connections and a more unified family. 

Seek connection: It is almost impossible for family business leaders to talk freely about the stresses of the role – it might give people the impression that the family business leader is weak, incompetent, or altogether the wrong person for the job! The lack of support and connection, however, makes the situation worse. If family members feel the family business leader is withdrawing from communication or interaction, they should reach out and create a space for them to share their experience. Make sure to withhold judgement, and most importantly, keep the confidence. But remember, someone who has withdrawn has a tendency to be bitter — so allow that, at least for a little while, as you re-establish an open channel.

Get perspective: Research shows that individuals prone to leadership-role burnout tend to be perfectionists who believe they do not need others’ help in getting things done. The saying “it is lonely at the top” exemplifies the missing space to exchange thoughts freely and reflect on them. When recognizing early warning signs — such as realizing that one’s behaviours, emotions and thinking patterns have shifted — it is essential to find someone to gain perspective. This could be a personal advisor or coach. This perspective should lead to help the family business leader that he or she are not like a cornered rat, but that they have various options ahead of them. They can employ help or distribute workloads, to mention a few examples.

Set your boundaries: Family members can be incredibly needy. After all, it’s their family business as well, right? They call on the weekends, during dinner, etc., requesting information about how things are going in the company. The family leader feels compelled to tell them because after all, they are not only owners, but also cousins, aunts, parents or nieces. Family leaders benefit from setting and enforcing very strict boundaries with their family members, and by gently and lovingly but firmly reminding them when – and when not – to communicate about the business, and when it is strictly family time. 

Prioritise health: Many family business leaders I work with have internalised incredibly strong work ethics – to the point where they sacrifice their health for the sake of their businesses and families, only to grow resentful of both. Abundant research shows that proper sleep and exercise benefits both the body and the brain, encouraging new neural growth and protecting brain cells from stress. Making time for physical exercise and sufficient rest is not indifference, but a necessity. 

And for family members: Do not look away. When you notice someone is withdrawing or in a bad place, reach out to them. It can be helpful to seek professional support, not only for the person with the symptoms, but also for the one wanting to help. Also, support others with positive feedback: As the human brain is vastly a “social brain” (Muthukrishna et al., 2018), nothing may be as supportive as positive feedback. As Truett Cathy was fond of saying, “How do you know if a person needs encouragement? If they are breathing!” Don’t harp on weaknesses; instead emphasise what is working well and ask what you can contribute so that the troubled person is able to achieve the goals. This can help prevent or stop a downward spiral. 

The potential consequences of overlooking or ignoring leadership-role burnout are threating to every organisation, but in particular to family businesses, as the pressures are two-fold, and it affects both business and family life. Feeling burnt out in the job will hinder job performance, while also leading to tension in the family. The family business owners or leader might feel resentful towards family members not working in the business, who make demands on the business that are not sustainable or reasonable in the eyes of the family business leader. The resulting family conflict further exacerbates the burnout condition. Over time, leadership-role burnout will damage employee, customer and supplier relationships, and it might negatively affect the next generation of family owners.