It could be the heat, it could be stress or it could be ingrained in our cultural background, but something that strikes me is that many business leaders fail at communicating with kindness. Communication is already difficult in itself. I lost count how many times I have gone to meetings, gone through endless traffic, only to face business leaders who are constantly checking their mobile phone whilst speaking to me. The end result it that many of us are constantly rushing from one thing to the next without reflecting on the human implications of what they just did.

Research and experience clearly indicates that great leadership is all about connecting with people by making them feel seen and heard. That means resisting certain bad impulses and instead practicing meaningful, gracious and kind communication. This involves small gestures and an overall demeanour that allows for connection. For a true business leader, this kind of communication is important in day-to-day interactions as well as in big, difficult conversations. By practicing such communication, business leaders will find themselves enjoying stronger relationships and a respected leadership presence, as well as more creative, resilient and ultimately, stronger leadership.

Below are some simple pointers as how to go about all this.

1. The more difficult the situation, the kinder you have to be: I learnt this from my first boss. When you go to face a tough situation, that is when you have to be at your kindest. Let me be clear, this does not mean not showing your disagreement to anything said or position taken by others. However, you must be careful not to be on the offensive. Being kind is the most effective tool for opening minds and moving hearts. As a business leader, others are always watching your communications, and if you are known to be someone who blows your top easily, you will be isolated from important negative news. An angry or volatile organisational culture makes it less likely that people will speak up about important risks or problems. That makes your organisation less able to respond quickly to crises.
2. Give credit where credit is due: People like to be seen and appreciated. Recognising those who deserve it fosters enthusiasm, hard work, trust and loyalty. Practicing gratitude also leads to creativity, as it fosters a culture where people are more ready to take risks. Giving recognition is as powerful for your peers as it is for those who lead. As a leader when you give credit, it shows that you have the maturity and self-confidence to appreciate someone else.
3. Provide others space, direction and clarity: No matter what conversation you want to have with someone, don’t catch them off their guard. Whether it’s an innocuous quick question or a serious piece of bad news, always ask if it’s a good time and try to give them a sense of what you want to discuss. This gives your counterpart an opportunity to prepare themselves for any surprises or tough news that you need to share, and makes it clear that you are interested in listening to their response. It can also calm them down — they go from not knowing what to expect to understanding the context of what is being said to them. I see way to often that team members, roll up their eyes, as they receive a call from their superiors not knowing in what “hassle” this call is going to take them into. They feel like working in a minefield.

Whatever tactics you choose, the idea is not to burden the other person in your conversation. The first principle of effective communication, is to communicate with the the other person in mind, which means communicating in the best way to get through the person you are communicating with. Many business leaders do the mistake that they communicate with themselves in mind, which in turn creates misunderstandings and even more problems. So, however hard that is, especially in today’s fast-paced world, it pays big dividends toward your relationships, your leadership, and your own well-being, to communicate well and with kindness.